this poor blog had been neglected for many many days.
dun bother to update cos this is a public blog, thats e fact.
bid goodbye to my last week. it totally sucks.
not abt wats happening ard me, but in me.
God knows wad happen to me, i duno either.
thats e dumbest part =x i guess....

My last week

got kinda emo these few days.
cried for so many days.
and i seriously wonder y am i crying and wad am i crying for...
the conclusion made is ting have to be more sensitive to herself.
cos she nv noe wats going on with her, and with this, she dun even noe wat to deal with in her life.
thats so pathetic of her..
holy spirit, have i been neglecting u in my life?
oh well, thats e worse thing that can happen to one's life.
ting wana be more sensitive to the spirit.


when a person got emo, many idiotic tots will run thru his or her mind.
i got so sensitive that it seems like everyone on earth is hurting me..
hai ya, to tik abt it, so dumb.
it seems like i am the most pathetic person on earth..
too indulged in my own world that i forgot abt the goodness of God.
wad exactly happen?
discouragements? disappointments? felt left out? unloved? lonely? useless? irritated?
argh, ask me not, cos i am not very sure either.


there's a temptation of dwelling..
to live in my own world, to indulged in this pain that causes unnesessary waters to flow frm my eyes and lead to unnesessary headache e next day.
is dwelling so attractive? y on earth did i got myself tempted over this?
ask me not again, cos the ans is simply 'duhh' ---dumbness.

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now roughly got how did i lead my life the previous week?
is that agreeable that it totally sucks?
hur hur hur..
hais.
i nearly harden my heart and disobey God.
wad have i gotten myself into..
thank God i have chosen to do the right thing.
i didnt submit to my feelings, i bite my lips and obeyed despite personal feelings.
all thanks to holy spirit =)
if i had harden den, this will be another sucky week for me.
wooo, i am out of that hell on earth.


went to service... it was a refreshing one..
i cant deny that God simply cares.
its always when i tot that i am e only one left on planet earth, God prove me wrong..
no matter wad, i have God with me..
i am so glad that i am proven wrong..
cos this feeling is fantastic!
bleghs =)
was so charged up...
frankly, giving up has nv nv came across my mind..
i mean in both my relationship woth God and my grp.
i nv wana give up, cos i noe wat's instore for me.
i wouldnt felt so terrible jus bcos my grp is not growing lar..
i felt terrible not cos of growth, instead, due to some other personal and dumb reasons =]


the core team meet was awesome.
too bad that jia hui they all nv attend.
hais.
but for me, it was a refreshing one =)


the tingting now is feeling much better..
frankly, i still feel abit uncomfy in my heart..
when ppl feel nevious, they use "butterfly in the stomach" to describe how they feel..
so wad abt ppl like me?
mayb i can use "bees in ting's heart" ?
nahz, craps.
God, i promis, i will deal with myself together with ya.
i wana be a better ting for u.
its time to get out and not be so insecure anymore.
no more dwelling.
no more crying.
stop---


God, help me to find that passionate and joyful ting =)
God, i am nth without u.
nv nv nv nv will i wan to get u out of my life and nv nv nv will i wana get out of ur presence.
cos i need u.


real character is not proven in smooth times, but rather, in the rocky periods.
God, continue to mould me =)


thank God for pulling me up when i am down.
thank God for reminding me for obeying despite lousy feelings..
thank god that i've made e right choice..
pheeeeww~

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